I work at a hospital, but I have no formal medical training. These facts don't mean that I feel I'm immune from the right to self-diagnose.
I think I have adult ADD. But I'm faced with a bit of a diagnostic conundrum.
I've always been somewhat forgetful, but I most often times meet my obligations. We'll forget about the Passport Fiasco for the time being http://paradigmthrift.blogspot.com/2010/05/worst-weekend-ever.html.
I get distracted. And in an attempt to steer my distractions away from whining about how many balls I have to juggle or all the travails I encounter as a single mom, I try to put my deficiencies in a tidy diagnostic box.
My problem is that I can't decide which diagnostic direction to turn. I'm still stumbling through the reality that, at 48, I'm still capable of getting zits. I'm young enough to have another kid, but old enough to be going through the early stages of menopause.
So as for the ADD. Do I have it? Or do I have early onset Alzheimer's? I can't decide.
This could just be an anomalous period of too much to remember and not enough hard drive to support the data. It could be that I'm just giving what I've always been a name, a label. Because labels are comforting.
Or it could be that 10 years from now you'll visit me in an assisted living home and I won't recognize you.
I'm opting for giving this current run the label of Scattered Short Term Memory Loss Occasional Intense Interest In Things That Eventually Lose Their Shine So I Discard Them Where Are My Keys Where Is My Coffee Let's Plan For College When Do I Work Where Are The Passports-itis.
Someone flash me a distraction so I don't have to think about this right now.
Oh! What's that? A butterfly?
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
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Mary - I just had conversation with a friend who used the term "PSD" to refer to most of the internet and living: pretty shiny distractions. They're everywhere! I've been returning to the major questions to keep myself on track: What is my purpose? What is love? Where is my cellphone?
ReplyDeleteReminds me of a book that should be a best-seller: "An ADD Autobiograhpy: The in-depth analysis of ... hey, let's go ride bikes!"
ReplyDeleteOK, it never was a book. But it should be.
If only I had the discipline and the attention span of a sparrow -
ReplyDelete