Will you take this garage sale item to love and honor until death do you part?

I visited my dad last weekend. He lives walking distance from this lovely place to the left; a breathtaking wonder, known not only for its natural beauty but for its top-drawer golf course.

We went to the golf course's clubhouse restaurant for dinner last weekend, and it became clear that we were severely under-dressed.

Two very opulent wedding parties were in progress, and the place was abuzz with very handsome men in tuxes and many sparkling young women delicately perched in very high heels.

We were waiting at our table in the clubhouse restaurant, watching many colorful satellites revolve around their respective bridal stars.

Then it started to rain.

Then the power went out.

Mild, well-heeled bridal chaos ensued.

After about 20 minutes with no menu or water, we chose to go to another restaurant. It was clear that there were bigger fish to fry than efficiently servicing Table 12.

And frankly, been there, done that.

I had an opulent wedding, but nothing as jaw-dropping as a Roxborough wedding. If I were ever to get married again, I'd love to tie my ball and chain to a stake at the Roxborough wedding site.

But that's not going to happen, because I'm jaded.

Case in point: as we left the clubhouse on our way to another restaurant, I mentioned to my dad that there were probably two brides nicely tucked away in the clubhouse, away from the rain. Both were most likely weeping and rocking ever-so gently, lamenting to anyone who would listen that their Perfect Day had been rained out.

My weekend plan is a bit less bucolic, a bit less formal.

I'm having a Garage Sale.

I've displaced my car from its relatively tidy nest in order to fill the garage with all the crap I don't want any more.

In my case, I want to simplify. I want to divest myself of the mounds of stuff that keep me one intervention away from a casting call for The Hoarders.

The idea of nicely merchandising this much stuff by tomorrow morning at 8 am is daunting.

But I prefer to look on the Bright Side. I'm simplifying. And whatever doesn't sell at the garage sale is going to be donated, so someone else can have a crack at my crap.

Just like the fathers of the brides who attempted to tie the knot last weekend at Roxborough, I'd be very willing to give all of this away.

I just hope it doesn't rain.