I had a feeling something was up.
My relationship had been hitting rocky skids for the past few months. But somewhere in my cerebellum I thought we'd be able to fix things up, eventually.
Both of us had said it was over at different times, and one or the other of us would wind up extending an olive branch.
I thought this was one of those times, because he said he'd fight for me.
Even last Saturday night when we got together, I had a teeny shred of hope.
I talked with him today, and he let me know that he'd 'committed to another relationship.'
When just three days ago he asked if I wanted to go out.
I usually don't do this much self exposure, but today completely and totally sucked.
I went shopping.
I can't even remember the last time I paid retail for an article of clothing.
The last time I went shopping, I didn't buy anything. Because the size I squeezed into was a bit bigger than I chose to willingly put in my closet.
Today, thankfully (wouldn't it have completely added insult to injury if I'd have gone up a few sizes?), I actually headed down the sizing chart. Blame it on my recent interpersonal ennui. Maybe it can simply be attributed to summer heat and the season's profusion of fresh fruit.
Whatever the source, I bought three items today, and each was at least a size smaller than I tried on the last time I shopped. The completely cool item on the left is two sizes smaller than what I refused to buy last fall, the last time I went shopping.
So I had a redemptive afternoon, completing a very overdue Retail Therapy session. It was the one part of today that felt good. I slid easily into - and out of - a few things that will become very familiar.
It would be lovely if my relationships were so easy to change.
I guess it's easy for some people.