Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Cents and Sensibility, Day 29. Tying up loose ends.

It was a day of tying up loose ends.

I wanted to get cracking on the weedy garden this morning. But instead, I chose to sift through my house, gathering items that will hopefully be picked up soon by the one who got away.

It was cathartic. I worked up a sweat before it became swelteringly hot outside, bringing items to the garage. I very lovingly, quietly (it was early) put everything where it needs to be, well outside of my field of vision.

My car is relegated to the driveway until this last bit of closure is done. It's summer, I don't drive much lately, greatly due to this project, so the car is fine in the driveway for the time being.

I feel so much better today. Invigorated. Because I'm not taking it personally.

Next time, things will be different.

Next time, I'll become involved with someone who matches the level of my self-esteem.

And despite the sting of the past few days, my self-esteem has never been better.

That seems counterintuitive.

But it's true.

Because I'm confident that I'm not needy. I'm not defining myself by my ability to attract someone who will validate me.

I'm not insecure.

Today, I feel strong. Capable.

And like so many days that have become Cents and Sensibility, there was no gas burned, no money spent, with the exception of a bit of sweat equity.

And as for the project, I have two days to go before I'll be intermittently updating. I've decided my family has established a very strong core of discretion when it comes to spending money, spending time. But I'll go into that tomorrow, and the next day.

Then I'll take a well-deserved break.

From so many things.

1 comment:

  1. my comment was erased again, and it was good too. Damn. Maybe when I'm not so tired I can remember what I said: I know the last line was hop on Grasshopper, the field is wide and the sun is shining (inspired by July!) SB